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The Splendid Library

2010-07-07T00:34:00.001-04:00

The Splendid Library
Originally uploaded by magic fly paula

2010-06-09T20:46:00.001-04:00

…remember the pain is helping you find your way, its there to guide you to something better then your immediate relief, It's there to guide you to your eternal relief…
5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Summer Wind …Remember it is a great honour to bear your pain, from a higher perspective you would beg for the opportunity again and again with as much agony as the pain you now feel. Not for it's excruciating torture but for the chance to transcend it and earn the ability to teach others…

2010-05-30T22:08:00.000-04:00

Our desires presage the capacities within us; they
are harbingers of what we shall be able to accomplish. What we can do and want
to do is projected in our imagination, quite outside & inside ourselves, and into the
future. We are attracted to what is already ours in secret. Thus passionate
anticipation transforms what is indeed possible into dreamt-for reality. -Goethe

2010-05-10T07:43:00.001-04:00

Passing Through
the raging storms
of deepest night,
all is in darkness.
Hope Evaporates;
despair rules now
in the realms of Death.

In the spiral vortex
of the blackest hole,
the endless tunnel
leads nowhere.
Confusion abounds,
nowhere to rest,
nothing to hold onto.

While I die and die
endlessly,
ever letting go
of everything
I once held dear.
I wonder how
I created this?

Are all we see outside
true mirrors of our soul?
Cannot it be
that the mirrors we see
sometimes
are distorted
in order to test
our sureness of Purpose
and clarity of vision?

As we pass
through this stage
of our initiation -
losing everything
and everyone,
drowning in despair,
we crash and burn.

Another black hole
has been entered
and passed through
like a succession
of merciless hells.
We are smashed
and reforged,
smashed and reforged.

Yet, something remains
when we finally emerge.
Something survives,
lessons are learned.
The planetary body
is made lighter from that
which we have transmuted.

Opening our eyes
we gaze upon the edding embers
of tempests past,
wondering at our survival,
in awe that Light remains
and like a wizened child
we rise and begin anew.

2010-05-01T19:45:00.001-04:00

Lets start with the positive. This movie positively sucks. There was some good cinematography but that was about it. If you want to see Maggie Gyllenhaal, don't blink. She has a 3 second cameo. Ethan Hawke actually is in the movie, but not to a large extent. Lots of naked male rearends and a simulated erection. A back alley abortion is depicted. You've got an adult encouraging underage drinking, baby theft, a teacher telling minors his sexual escapades as part of the curriculum, and a depressing story. What more could you want? This is a waste of your time and doesn't do anything a good movie should: think, laugh, cry. It's overt them is underage sex (I'll show you mine if you show me yours). There are three topless woman scenes (traincar sex, windmill sex, topless woman in the classroom). Not for kids. Not for adults. Not worth the time. Skip it and thank me later.

2010-04-30T00:44:00.001-04:00

"I have no belief, no religion, because I have knowledge, or gnosis. And I have Sophia." ~ L A Pendergraft

2010-04-28T07:19:00.001-04:00

You Belong to the MajesticShare
Today at 12:42am
Walk away from the corrupt!Be free of senseless allures!
Your origin is noble, your nature awesome.

Invulnerable in spirit, your beauty comes from within;
you belong to the Majestic, a ray from the light of God.

What have you seen of your own still-concealed beauty?One of these days at dawn,
you will rise from within yourself like a sun.

It's a shame that you're so hidden,like a moon under a cloud.
Clear the corporeal clouds!Reveal the face of the moon.

No mine has such a brilliant ruby;the world has no other soul like yours.
In this world everything diminishes,but you are the soul-enhancing soul!

~Maulana Rumi

2010-04-19T10:57:00.001-04:00

There is a delicate balance between nurturing your authentic self and being in service to others. As circumstances call forth more of our true purpose, this concept becomes a direct focal point in our lives. Be willing to experience this concept from Source’s perspective of you --Self-forgiveness, unconditional love, and kindness always.

2010-04-18T15:45:00.001-04:00

Love Foundations:

1. It is easy to enter a relationship as you are Mr. Socrates. Acting like a wise ass throwing a piece of shit of old experiences here and there. Note to me: Have the courage to be Mr. NoOne.

2. Being Naked, it is not about putting your sins, weaknesses, nor vulnerability on LCD screen. It is about un-loading your past setbacks and miseries outside before entering the relationship. Note to me: You are transparent as air, clean as water.

3. Lilith was cremated in Hell. She doesn’t exist anymore, anywhere. Note to me: Fuck Lilith, 1001 times. Another Note to me: Take off your shoes and walk toward the Temple.

4. Friendship is about respecting and nurturing the new soul that you are welcoming to your life. While Love is about losing the boundaries that separate the two souls, no more I, Mine, Me, or You. Note to me: You enter the Temple of Love from the door of Friendship.

5. We are used to the easy and familiar paths. Actually, our Self territories are defined by the comfort zone. Note to me: Be virgin with your new woman, Virgin in feeling and seeing. Another Note to me: See your Amor with a fresh-eye and excitement-soul, like Adam when he saw for the first time Eve.

6. Being a romantic man is not about being or acting as a sissy boy. Note to me: Bath your woman with love, and be grateful and joyful for the Love drops that splashing you.

7. It is essential to make the Present vivid, bigger and louder. Our conditioned mind is conspiring against us to distort the experience. Using the Past as tool in taming us like an elephant tied to tree with a small of piece of rope. Note to me: Be creative in loving her, inwards and outward. Use all the instruments that life presented to you.

8. Surrendering to LOVE is the only path anyone can to walk to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It is a catastrophe to allow anyone including your-self to warn you of the future pain, your-mind to advise you of Plan B, or your-heart begging you for a safety net. Note to me: Just bet all what you have got on LOVE, and roll the dice. You are here to WIN.

Sunday, April 18, 2010
Updated 41 minutes ago · Report Note

2010-04-16T18:35:00.001-04:00

Shackles will burn; and focus shall return. Walls will crumble; and focus shall return. Temples will open, and desire shall return. The past never mattered, and the Mind shall return whole....

2010-04-14T09:02:00.001-04:00

"Love's light basks in the glow of your reflective moon."

2010-04-12T15:29:00.001-04:00

I would rather have a mind open by wonder then one closed by belief. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear, keep the faith. The most beautiful thing is to see a pers...on smiling. Even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!

2010-04-10T15:46:00.001-04:00

O Creator of All! in the garden of thy dreams let me be a radiant flower. Or may I be a tiny star, held on the timeless thread of Thy love as a twinkling bead in the vast necklace of Thy heavens. this is the highest honor: the humblest place within Thy heart. There I would behold the creation of the noblest visions of life. we are not in the world; rather, the worlds are inside us. We are co-creators with the divine.

2010-04-07T07:09:00.001-04:00

~ You and I are not merely separated from the galaxies by unimaginable immensities of space; we are also connected to them by unimaginable immensities of time. We are literally made from stars. We are their descendants. The only difference between us and stars is time. ~ G. Grow

2010-04-05T16:09:00.001-04:00

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

So, a few words more that we both treasured…

What though that radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from our sight
Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not, rather find
strength in what remains behind
In the primal sympathy,
which, having been, must ever be.

2010-04-04T20:45:00.001-04:00

Soul Mate I AM... Twin Flames WE ARE...

2010-04-04T08:45:00.000-04:00

Durer: Innsbruck, 1495
I had often, cowled in the slumbrous heavy air,
Closed my inanimate lids to find it real,
As I knew it would be, the colourful spires
And painted roofs, the high snows glimpsed at the back
All reversed in the quiet reflecting waters –
Not knowing than that Durer perceived it too.
Now I find that once more I have shrunk
To an interloper, robber of dead men’s dreams,
I had read in books that art is not easy
But no one warned that the mind repeats
In its ignorance the vision of others. I am still
The black swan of trespass on alien waters.

by James Phillip McAuley
1917-1976

2010-03-30T09:54:00.000-04:00

When I burned down the Drama, I did not walk away until I consumed the heart of Drama, and only then with a smile fixed on my face, did I receive the true word of Spirit: 'Onto your hour, honor who you are. Onto your honor, worship the might of your wisdom; worship the depths of your Shadows; worship the Desire as your... truest Muse.' And with the scent of Desire's Kingdom piercing the new Hour, I departed.

2010-03-26T11:26:00.001-04:00

Good is not the opposite of evil; it comes into being only when that which is evil has utterly ceased.

2010-03-26T10:18:00.002-04:00

When you decided to set the fields of ignorance on fire, you merge Light and Shadow into the invincible weapon of Wisdom and Love. When you allow the fields of ignorance to prosper, you exist as a slave where Light and Shadow duel against one another propagating the murderous intent of Self-Hatred and Self-Contempt....

@Andrew and Michael: Time for us to take account of our given strengths and potential, then we pursue a path that embraces what we are to ourselves, and what we shall become to others who surround us....

His fearless wit makes him shine beyond ANY need to run and hide behind those smothering curtains we have all been conditioned to hang on to and hang up around our true Self-worth...
2 hours ago

Hello Marie - I feel the same. Meeting intelligent individuals willing to step out of the box and see Life in the pure moments never grows stale to me Marie.

likewise in a world of brainwashed,shallow types it is great to meet thinking people

call me Christy,I go by that Marie is my birth name

All right Christy. I concur with you Christy about the fearful, shallow minds too afraid to step out of their box of denials and breathe in what Life truly holds for the bold,and the knowing....

The Self-Knowing.

Pressed against the Breastbone
Pressed against the Immovable Stone
Pressed against the Unatoned -
Pressed against the desire for Home......

Everytime I play this song, at this time of night, I get it more and more and more....

2010-03-25T14:15:00.000-04:00

Today we Sing, with sorrow's blushing groom; Today we Sing, with pride's stern in-laws; Today we Sing; alive while the dead serenades us with gratitude, understanding, and thanksgiving;Today we Sing, with the bored milk-maids lusting for a touch that stirs at their senses and dreams; for Today, just for Today, we Sing our songs once again......

2010-03-25T07:05:00.002-04:00

Hazar 3/24/10

I have learned a lot over the last 36 hours....and will do well with this lesson....

I have learned most recently that many people who are always preaching about Love and Peace among their fellow men are the biggest hypocrites walking he planet. Either do as thou preaches about or just shut the fuck up (dedicated to the ones who had my account temporally disabled because to them, words hurt more than sticks and stones..)

I have reached a personal critical mass towards these individuals who come here to Facebook spouting on and on and on about Love and Peace but will turn your ass in for saying anything that might 'disturb them'....

Stop with the taken quotes from people who lived their lives, learn how to Love who you are for yourself Unconditionally, learn to be inspired by yourself to inspire others around you, or just shut the FUCK up....

I have very little tolerance for individuals who will place upon individuals the guise of being 'peace and Loving' when they want nothing more than the sexy allure of the attention given to them for being so 'enlightened'...

And while my kindness will rise to the surface, like the Universe itself I must destroy with the Anti-Matter of my dark emotions before creating with my Matter of buoyant emotions Crystal. I do not deny my darker emotions ever. Let the Anti-Matter destroy, and creation returns....

..And from firm soils that knows that all winds shall blow, the Orchards did not need to run, run, run, and whine about how unfair the Seasons had become.....

2010-03-21T00:23:00.001-04:00

You came here to be the light not just to shine, to grow not to age. to listen not to hear, to learn not to be graded. U came here to share not to brag, to be heart-full not mind-full. U came here to act not to be idle, to lead not to obey. to sympathize not to criticize, U came here in oneness not to be the one and only. to love not to worship, to be free not sentenced. to respect not to reject You came here to help

2010-03-15T09:52:00.004-04:00

is committed to the creation of Do No Harm, Kin Domain communities throughout the world. Where we grow our own food & look out for one another, a good way to achieve lives of peace, joy and abundance for all & take care of our earth so that it flourishes. Lets shine a light on the darkness of the world we live in so that we may all recognize that darkness & until there is nowhere left for it to hide.

I've noticed in the last four weeks that a direct connection to source energy is building. It seems like our light fields are increasing the same way water spills from an overflowing well. As it continues to overflow, we will see our light overlapping and connecting with one another and creating a blanket of love that will naturally heal Mother Earth. These are exciting times.

"Hi Jo, "Community Immunity" is the walk-the-talk of consciousness, that IS the light of our love (DOING NO HARM) blanketing each other, that is the earth...... harm done to one of us is harm being done to all of us. We are all brothers and sisters to the body of Life, we are each others fingers, toes, brains and eyes of creation (the creation of LIFE).

When we have overcome "self" and "in-divide-u-all" (individual) and see that life is a team effort as is freedom, truth, health, peace and abundance, then together as a team who live lives ONLY for the team (not for "self") we are that light of "community immunity"" that heals earth, our true body of LIFE.

Do we have to jump ten feet across the room to grab our next breath of air? Of course not!!!!!!!

Take care of love (each other/"community immunity") and love takes care of everything else. This is the WAY of LIFE and is the WAY out of the hologram that is this evil matrix destroying everything and everything of life (us).

We are caretakers, stewards, servants, labourers, co-creators of LIFE... WE do not OWN anything. We can't own (not let go) our last breath or last drink or our last meal without dying and the same applies with ALL information, including that information that forms "self".

Life Is A Gift and A Gift Is ONLY a GIFT when LIFE is set free.

When all we live for is for creating gifts that benefit our brothers and sisters of life then we know we are on the right path out of hell (the matrix)... Everything goes wrong when "self" comes into the picture....

We do not need to be a "self to be MAN

MAN is the gift of LIFE

Also.... Do We Need To Believe In A Tree For The Tree To Exist? Of course not, the tree exists regardless if you believe in the tree (life/creation) or not. And in the middle of the word belief is the word lie and that lie is what creates "self". In Ancient Egypt one of its 13 Gods (the constructs of information that together forms the civilisation of commerce) is SETH and SETH is "SELF"."

"Hi Michael, As it stands today (bar any tribe still untouched by fiction & civilisation, if such a tribe still exists in a pristine natural habitat) there is no Kindom in existence anywhere on Earth today, not even in Russia. We are in constant contact with many many hundreds around the globe dreaming for Kindom... but there ain't any yet....

The ones who supposedly claim they have a Kindom are either terribly misguided or are lying. These communities are not Kindoms, instead they are just another extension of a "feel-good" lifestyle severely compromised by commerce, contracts, statutes, taxation, dealing with local councils, government departments, banks, insurance, rule of law, and a myriad of other 3rd parties who represent the Powers That Be civilisation of commerce (the matrix).

To create a Kindom requires a large tribe of men and women and children who live to serve each other as gifts of LIFE for the tribe. Without this Gift of Gifts in place there ain't gonna be a Kindom. Without the Gifted tribe you can forget the land....

Now there is so much more involved (thought through) to get a REAL Kindom off the ground and we have taken four years operating outside the square, unpaid, working up to 16 hours per day of almost everyday since early 2005, to work out how to create Kindom (Do No Harm Communities) without being destroyed by the powers that be.

2010-03-13T15:58:00.001-05:00

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.* ~ E.E. Cummings

2010-03-13T15:51:00.002-05:00

What humbugs we are, who pretend to live for Beauty, and never see the Dawn! ~Logan Pearsall Smith

2010-03-13T09:39:00.002-05:00

*The fear programme has created a consequential backash desired/undesired of intolerance. Any historical epoch that brings about changes will create this type of intolerance.

This particular epoch has become charged with rapid changes, and this brings into full viewing the large amount of intolerance existing within the minds of many, despite who they are and aren't.

Facebook has become an interesting playground for me personally. Part social networking with very keen minds, and part lab to observe how people responds/reacts in the face of new information. I have met people who have deleted me, blocked me, and 'censored me'.... but the problems lies not with me but with them....

And furthermore, these individuals refuse to grow.
And furthermore, these indiivudals must always hate those who seek to grow.

*Thanks for your comments, Hazar. I can't speak for any other epoch, but this is generally what happens amid a culture of distracted confusion...

I also see things the same way, part observer, part participant. FB is amazing teacher if you're open to it!

I see what you are saying, but I would also add that, it is not that people refuse to grow, it is perhaps the fact that they don't realise they aren't growing, and don't understand what growth really means or entails, as if it's just another bandwagon they can jump on which is 'out there' somehow, another belief or cause without undestanding either the origins of either or being able to see the bigger picture of both. Self awareness is doomed in this respect.

Again, I would add that we ourselves stop growing when we believe ourselves to be the only ones having succeeded in doing so; hence we become elitists and egoists of a different sort, having created a kind of underclass to which we are in danger of comparing ourselves. A sense of moral or spiritual superiority cannot exist side by side with the growth of awareness without usurping its value and allowing the ego to reign supreme....Then we live in a very shadowy world, and all the more so because our vanity blinds us to the truth of ourselves.

*I concur with you Crystal, especially with regards to that sense of moral
and spiritual superiority that becomes mistaken as 'growth' by many. In my personal dealings with individuals who occupy the 'New Age' grouping, many
are so assured that their 'teachings' will come to light and truth, ergo the hyperbole of 2012 (used as a device to create a money making product in the movie/programme '20120..).

I do feel personally Crystal that this epoch has created a powerful
information breeding ground that has caused this rather interesting internal/external noise frequency that acts to either heighten the awareness
or dull the awareness underneath the rubble of intolerance and
self-inflicted ignorance.

These type of individuals are neither above me or beneath or even at my side
or on my level. They occupy a realm that relates to them and reinforces what they need to see as they have chosen to see and want to see. Duality doesn't exist but creates an illusion that keeps many individual blind, intolerant,
and cruel in ignorance...

*Hazar: "these individuals refuse to grow".
They are afraid. they grew up in a fictious reality, crumbling. so they are trying to cling to old concepts.
they do refuse to grow, of course,. im just mentioning why. :D
people should not delete posts on FB, just my opinion.

*I concur with you Allan, These individuals cling so deeply to their obsolete world views that when death approaches, they must spew venom in denial that their worlds could never endure.

And in the abject misery, they seek to inflict others with their poisons.
Let them be as they must be, Let them perish forevermore

Amen.

2010-03-12T20:08:00.001-05:00

Prercisely. Self-Love unconditionally remains a very difficult aspect for many people because many people come with their damages full on. Their fears of who they are negates the ability for Self-Love to be felt, embraced, appreciated, and accepted.

I have been taught time and time again Angela by my own personal experiences to embrace who I am for myself Unconditionality. This remains a very controversial thought because the whole religious dogmas of loving some invisible being in the sky who judges us at every turn and moment blinds many to the importance of Self-Love.

I have no desire to surrender myself to no other path. And to many, this makes me conceited, arrogant, full-of-shit, condescending, and all of the unkind adjectives thrown at me by individuals lacking Self-Love unconditionally. But as we look around us, we see a culture collapsing because Self-Love's abscene creates a culture drowning in insignificant corruption, greed, intolerance, and self-deception.

We are the power of the Creative spark. When we follow this, we become greater than the shadows we cast Angela.

2010-03-11T16:53:00.001-05:00

since all atoms are 99.9999% empty, we are 99% not here. What fun!! Let us never feel helpless again. Let us remember that if enough of us ask together even very big things like world disarmament and world peace will be granted it is inevitable it is up to us how soon this will happen But Believing is not enough you need to see it make it know it and make that the strongest part of yourself and anchor this.

well i think this might be more confirmation that this is all a hologram virtual reality program.
i mean even our DNA 1% is different and the rest is all the same
so we focus on our difference but that is only 1%
and the news focuses on the worst things in the world making us think this planet is worse then we think but in truth that is only 2% is like that
what about the rest is what i want to know
what would be the world be like if we focused on the beauty what we have in common and what is right?
this one is too long to be a facebook status alas i will try to fit it in another time

2010-03-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

.here are worlds of experience beyond the world of the aggressive man, beyond history, and beyond science. The moods and qualities of nature and the revelations of great art are equally difficult to define; we can grasp them only in the depths of our perceptive spirit.
Ansel Adams

when I witness a powerful image, piece of music, transformational film, or indulge my tastes in succulent dishes, life speaks for itself. telepathic pathways are created that's for sure, the web of creation spins!

2010-03-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

ONE DIFFERENCE

"God made so many different kinds of people; why would God allow only one way to worship?" ~ Martin Buber___We are God experiencing itself in this magnificent playground called "life!"

the ability to draw one's own conclusions is very uplifting. All religions are valid pathways to enlightenment, but to become too associated with one WAY is limiting ourselves for sure

Yes, there are many paths to the top of the mountain, many ways to honor the holy in life and to experience our oneness with all that is. Viva la difference!!

What you realize you are on your own path of excitement the world begins to morph and transform right in front of your eyes. With this new awareness brought on by discovering the hidden trasure of the divine essence inside you, the opportunity to answer the call of your soul purpose becomes more available and accessible. YAY! Have a great day.

2010-03-10T09:27:00.001-05:00

reminding all the fearless flowers: If you but soak up the sunlight you
are given, drink each drop of water I send, and strive only to be
yourself, life shall quicken in your roots, spirit shall raise you into
the light, and your bloom will inspire the world! ~~The Universe~~ How
much do you have in common with fearless flowers?

2010-03-05T11:49:00.001-05:00

~ When you learn to trust and to commit yourself to a world of safety and beauty, then there is a certain patience that comes as you allow that world to unfold in front of you.. ~

~~ Don't judge what you do and where you have been. Accept your power. Accept who you are. Accept that you carry light for yourselves, and then surrender to your role and be patient and allow it to unfold.. Time will accelerate quickly enough for you. Don't rush it ahead. You have many years of work and play ahead, all of you. It is what you are ...

2010-03-03T22:41:00.000-05:00

Many beings who are Pleiadian in their soul are here on earth now are musicians of one sort or another..They are trying to bring frequencies to earth that will aid the balance of emotions.. Many of them are singers, as the human voice and words are capable of bringing in harmonies that instruments just cannot. *

2010-03-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

We the people of the world need to find ways to get to know one another-for then we will recognize that our likenesses are so much greater than our differences, however great our differences may seem. Every cell, every human being, is of equal importance and has work to do in this world. i love you guys!!! :)

2010-02-28T18:55:00.000-05:00

BBC Radio 3
Private Passions
Freida Hughes
February 28, 2010

Music And Featured Items

Berkeley — The Wakeful Poet (Music from Chaucer)
Performers: Beaux-Arts Brass Quintet
BBQ BBQ 003, Tr 10

Ludwig van Beethoven — Für Elise
Performer: Alfred Brendel (piano)
Beethoven, PHILIPS 456 031-2, Tr 28
John Tavener — The Protecting Veil
Performers: Raphael Wallfisch (cello), RPO/Justin Brown
Tavener, TRING TRP 048, Tr 1

AC/DC — Rock N Roll Train
Black Ice, COLUMBIA 88698392382, Tr 1

Antonio Vivaldi — Spring (from The Four Seasons) (1st movement, Allegro) [Concerto in E major, RV 269]
Performers: Jeanne Lamon (violin), Tafelmusik
Vivaldi, SONY SMK 89987, Tr 1

Frieda Hughes For Nick
from The Book 0f Mirrors (Bloodaxe)

Laura Sullivan — Hawaian Islands
Mystical America, SENTIENT SPIRIT RECORDS 8742, Tr 11

Frédéric Chopin — Preludes Nos 3, 5, 7 and 8 (from the Preludes, Op 28)
Performer: Martha Argerich (piano)
Chopin Preludes, DG 463 663-2, Tr 3, 5, 7, 8

Frieda Hughes Doll
from The Book 0f Mirrors (Bloodaxe)

Anon — The Humours of Ballyloughlin
Performers: Maire Ni Chathasaigh (Irish harp), Chris Newman (bass), Nollaig Casey (fiddle)
Celtic Harpistry, IMAGINARY ROADS RECORDS 314 558 351-2, Tr 2

Gustav Holst — Mars (from The Planets)
Performers: NYPO/Leonard Bernstein
Leonard Bernstein, SONY SMK 47567, Tr 1
Broadcast

2010-02-26T13:05:00.002-05:00

The thrill of life itself

From time to time, life will get tough or be difficult, but sometimes life will just feel wonderful to you and you can't even explain why. Sometimes it's just the excitement of the moment, sometimes it's a gift, sometimes it's something special, but whatever gives you the wonderful feelings, those are the moments you have to hold onto, for being alive is something wonderful to share with everyone.

I remember when I thought I lost my only reason for living, but you hold on until the next wonderful thing comes along and you cherish that for all it's worth. Within happiness, we find our love for our friends and family grows, our purposes seem clear, but not urgent. In happiness, we find the voice to tell people how much we care.

Hold onto life and hold onto your wonderful things. Share them with people you know.

____________________________________________________________________________________
I was particularly touched by your ideas that we should love and forgive the ego and the illuminati. They know what they do. Ego and d...darkness in the ultimate sense are illusion. They are errors in the system. There is only one truth. All are striving for satisfaction, just some elements in the world and ourselves are somehow twisted so that they search in the darkness for the true satisfaction and empowerment that they will never find there. We are really all on the same side. Truth, true satisfaction and fulfillment. Even the demon king himself. Love is the law.
May consciousness, awareness, love and light reign on this beautiful and divine planet and throughout space.
Thank you!
Shanti Om

2010-02-26T08:53:00.003-05:00

some people wish for a life without problems, but i would never wish such a thing for any of you. what i wish for you is the great inner strength to solve your problems meaningfully and grow problems are learning and growing experiences. a life with out problems would be a barren existence,without the opportunity for spiritual growth~peace pilgrim

yes that is correct really there is no growth just realization of your self peace pilgrim is a simple message but effective way of looking this thing and i agree with that other dude about helping the world rather then debate but we can not help anyone if we can not help ourselves and in order to do that we must change our relationship to our problems and that was the whole purpose of the quote"

2010-02-25T11:21:00.001-05:00

Some people mistake being loving for being a sap. Quite the contrary, the most loving people are often the most fierce and the most acutely armed for battle... for they care about preserving and protecting poetry, symphonic song, ideas, the elements, creatures, inventions, hopes and dreams, dances and holiness... those goodly endeavors that cannot be allowed to perish from this earth, else humanity itself would perish..." from The Dangerous Old Woman

2010-02-24T10:41:00.000-05:00

"The Godly way is one of the few simple precepts that even a child can understand. Truth is simple--it's just not so simple to live it. Therefore, immature people tend to hide behind complicated interpretations in order to avoid living simple truth." ~Peace Pilgrim

2010-02-23T22:48:00.001-05:00

Our ego has a way of taking over our thoughts and getting us to wrap our mind around the worse case scenario about the different things going on in our lives and people. It gets us to entertain crazy ideas and to play them out in our head non stop until we believe them to be true and eventually create those things in our lives. Let’s change the movie playing in our head for one that is Positive, Loving, and Happy

2010-02-23T22:47:00.001-05:00

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be perfectly wonderful. When you're looking for beauty, any moment will do... ...Treasure the twists and turns that life will inevitably continue to take. There is great richness to be found in it all." Ralph Marston (Follow the yellow curved road!)

2010-02-23T21:59:00.001-05:00

2010-02-23T16:11:00.001-05:00

Formula for survival = Love more than you fear or hurt and eventually love will prevail. ~Gil Harrington

2010-02-19T16:21:00.001-05:00

1. Don't wish for perfect health. In perfect health, there is greed and wanting. So an ancient said, " Make good medicine from the suffering of sickness." 2. Don't hope for life without problems. An easy life results in a judgmental and lazy ind. So an ancient once said, "Accept the anxieties and difficulties of this l...ife". 3. Don't expect your practice to be clear of obstacles. Without hindrances the mind that seeks enlightenment may be burnt out. So an ancient once said, "Attain deliverance in disturbances". Zen Master Kyong Ho [ 1849-1912], in Thousand Peaks

2010-02-19T07:22:00.002-05:00

All that is real is invisible. True love is not visible, but it makes the world turn. Your powers are alive, but many are still water yet to be poured. There is always more to the story. If you believe you can, then it happens. This is just the beginning. We have yet to reach full bloom….

The magic of you is that you are unique, a one-of-a-kind being who is blessed by both the goddess and the god. Be happy for who you are and follow your dreams. One of the worst things one can do is abandon one's dreams or live an unfulfilled life. Don't let anyone beat the dream out of you. When the dream dies, it never truly leaves your consciousness. It will haunt you, and what you once loved, you will then hate and resent. Believe in your dreams. Be yourself, for no one else can be, and live the life you were meant to live. ~Jessica Schab

Summer Wind: This is just so gracious a thing to say. It's filled with warmth, truth and beauty. You are dreams so living them is in a way acknowledging who and what you are because it exists in the space of love where it seems there is nothing. But wait, be silent you will see, you will hear, you will feel, always. It is this place that is you. You are in a sense only wearing your life like clothing. Sometimes it's too tight and bursts and breaks, sometimes it's too loose and you get lost in it. But when it just fits right, it feels gooooooooood and that is when you know what you are.
10 hours ago

Jessica Schab: i love that life is like clothes we wear so many of us dress ourselves to express who we are to the world some of us are the quest for comforting clothing that feels right

2010-02-18T14:37:00.001-05:00

Matthew 12:40 (King James Version)

For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

"By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion." (Psalms 137:1 KJV)

Job 26:7 (King James Version)

He stretcheth out the north over the empty place, and hangeth the earth upon nothing.(hologram?)

2010-02-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

" It is not so important who they are, but that they have kept an "idea" alive for thousands of years. Stopping them will not end the idea, only
by exposing the idea in the true light and seeing that it is us who
have unwittingly or manipulatively supported them and this idea that we
are not equal or connected to each oth...er. That as long as we blame
"They" we will always fail to see who is really responsible for their
having any power or control. If you want to know who is really behind
they or who "they" really are, go take look in a mirror. Then make an oath to yourself to end this idea and learn to be truly free."

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide ...is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

2010-02-16T07:17:00.000-05:00

"For the first time you can gaze within your own eyes, and really see who and what is looking back at you. For the first time you have every reason to celebrate your life, and claim the power of knowing, deep in your heart, that you have won the game, crossed the final threshold, and opened the doorway to the Infinite." David Wilcock

2010-02-14T16:28:00.001-05:00

" Loyalty to your inner being as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live." ~Goethe

2010-02-13T12:53:00.001-05:00

I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle and to be what we are.

This planet is Harvard University for creators-in-training

2010-02-13T12:44:00.000-05:00

The mind is most unkind and likes to rewind you to the daily grind ~ Jessica Schab

2010-02-13T11:21:00.001-05:00

Behold! The light was and is and ever will be still. The peace is overwhelmingly and beautifully the sleeping nothingness of joy, of truth, of love. The Understanding at once takes the breath away, humbles, and inspires more understanding, deeper, and deeper, and deeper out of dream to another dream in the infinite dream of all.

2010-02-12T11:21:00.001-05:00

It' Just a Dog

From time to time people tell me, "Lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "That's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent or the costs involved for "just a dog."

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."

Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and, in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.

"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person.

Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

So for me, and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a human."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog." just smile....because they "just don't understand."

- Anonymous

2010-02-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

2010-02-12T10:19:00.000-05:00

“Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.
(Mark 10:13-16 ESV)

Let the Children Come to Me
13(A) And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples(B) rebuked them. 14But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, (C) "Let the children come to me;(D) do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15(E) Truly, I say to you, whoever does not(F) receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." 16And(G) he took them in his arms and blessed them,(H) laying his hands on them.

2010-02-12T07:16:00.001-05:00

"When we are strangers to the present, we seek out the extraordinary. We do so because we can’t appreciate the inherent magnificence and beauty of the present we already occupy." ~Michael Brown

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act. ~George Orwell

2010-02-10T19:40:00.000-05:00

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty.~Rilke

Unless you have chaos inside you, you cannot give birth to a dancing star"~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

2010-02-10T10:01:00.001-05:00

If something appears to be unreasonable you are most likely on the right track and heading toward your heart, Love’s True Home -- Sri Gawn Tu Fahr

Your love Should never be offered to the mouth of a Stranger, Only to someone Who has the valor and daring To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife Then weave them into a blanket To protect you. ~ Hafiz [thank you, Ten Fe]

Out Beyond Ideas, of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field, I'll meet you there.
When the soul lays down, in that grass, the world is to full, to talk about, ideas, language, even the phrase, "eachother" makes no sense.
Out beyond Ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field.....I'll meet you there. --RUMI

2010-02-10T09:58:00.001-05:00

The cell is imortal & thus so are people micro of a macro. It is merely the fluid in which the cell floats which degenerates. Renew the fluids at intervals, give the cells (people) what they require for nutrition &, as far as we know, the pulsation of life may go on forever.~Dr.Alexis Carrel

2010-01-21T09:07:00.001-05:00

WHEN we look into the eyes of another with love and deep compassion we are gazing through that person's window into the radiant beauty of their soul. Yet what possesses us to avoid eye contact, to walk around like zombies unware of an experience to honour and revere the beauty of another which warmly mirrors that which... we truly are. Let us keep our eyes wide open... and so open the doorway to our loving heart.

2010-01-20T12:39:00.002-05:00

"It is the state of your vibratory field that determines your experience of any event. In its most simple form, the cultivation of appreciation for the smallest things in your life will give you the greatest results."Tom Kenyon

2010-01-19T20:04:00.001-05:00

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. --Arthur Schopenhauer

2010-01-18T19:15:00.002-05:00

It is interesting when you go into the darkest room and light a little candle of truth and love all the darkness runs away in denial. I will continue to keep my candle burning and to enter the darkest rooms as when I do I find my lost brothers and sisters waiting to be shown the light & set free. I will give them a small candle and let them light it from me, for from one candle a trillion can be lit ♥ Namaste ♥

2010-01-18T19:13:00.001-05:00

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

2010-01-17T21:55:00.000-05:00

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." ~ Goethe ~

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn. The bird waits in the egg. And in the highest vision of a soul, a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.

it is a wonderful thing to be a dreamer
it is an honor
and very important to maintain!

2010-01-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

Open your mind
You're here today
No future fears
This day will last
A thousand years
If you want it to...

"Once upon a time I dreamed I was a butterfly,
fluttering hither and thither,
to all intents and purposes a butterfly.
I was conscious only of following my fancies as a butterfly,
and was unconscious of my individuality as a man.
Suddenly I woke, and there I lay, myself again.
Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly,
or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man."
-Chinese proverb from 3rd century B.C.

2010-01-05T21:26:00.002-05:00

I didn't really know what to expect accepting the responsibility of bringing Abbey into my life. All at once, there is a dynamic creature in our midst. I don't speak her language, she doesn't speak mine yet I am discovering what is it she does comprehend in me that is non-verbal in nature.

On a primitive level, Abbey and I are biological organisms which find ourselves interacting and living closely with one another.

I feel as though, I hardly have a clue how to be her pack leader although I so want her trust and love.

Rationalizing the reasons as to why I hope she can figure out how to cultivate the strength to stay at one alone will never happen.

Her cells have to learn how to relax themselves, her subconscious anxiety triggers need to be silenced so that pure faith is left.

Is that possible for a dog to sense a power greater themselves as faith? Maybe, maybe not. I am certainly not convinced that an animal's purest behavioral level can only be explained by scientific methods.

Higher forces are at work in all ways. If I need to ask spirit to communicate to the DNA structure in Abbey to assist in releasing her traumas then I will. Why not???

2009-04-14T15:13:00.002-04:00

i don't think anyone knows about my heartache,
& why would they know?
cos it's tangled into knots in my stomach
u can make me cry if you don't know!

2009-04-01T10:18:00.002-04:00

clarity
images seethe with criticism, yet
i retort, reject, & disallow
self-empowerment, causal, effective
is my FOCUS -

2009-03-24T12:50:00.003-04:00

angelstar is a growin'up
each day i see this little person
standing in front of me, tuggin' on my pant leg
building block towers, counting 1-10, &
all my WORLD is there - with her
there is no wrong
even when we're lying in bed &
she keeps kicking me non-stop
i LOVE her
i am dedicated to her growth & advancement
i will let myself go to pieces for her sanity
we work hard EVERYDAY to make sure she's
protected, nurtured, & performing this service
is the greatest thing i know i'll ever do
she's my superstar, our next generation....

2009-03-20T12:02:00.002-04:00

my lady mistress is a tarot maid
she does my spreads for free -
its called the "road to the solution"
& it can get DEEP...
sitting there trying to ascertain the unconscious
probing into her, into me
dreams can get scary, images - visceral
me as the abandoned child, u as the perpetrator
hurt, anguish, although not needy
i can fall into subliminal obsessions.
what i really need to do is to wake up &
eat the last english muffin!

2009-03-18T08:55:00.002-04:00

DMZ
the little blood sucking vampire in u goes quiet for a moment. just a millisecond of silent contentment. defenses are down, all is well. the namaste is in effect - yr hankering to tangle & catch the rabbit in a death grip has evaporated & it's confusing the routine. what's goin' on? canines are now defanged - the pulse to conquer diminishes. there is peace, harmony, compassion, understanding - a shift reverberating into the primal energetics of us all...

2009-03-17T09:15:00.006-04:00

yr narcissistic tendencies are not a turn-off
it's what i hold dear about u -
this is because i can hold a space for it to exist
(thru non-judgment & compassion)
this is a good mindfulness practice for me
i have developed a heart capable of not aspiring to
crack yr nut cos its hard & shut down
that's not my goal here -
i just want to watch u, listen & take in
what u express
a dangerous charm perhaps, yet i am NOT moving towards u
for empathy - u have a handicap (i know this well)
i don't want to hand u full authority or influence u to stop what yr doing
i don't want to entertain illusions of a give-&-take
i know i am alone emotionally in this one
u can sour love & stomp on vulnerability
but this is why i adore u, duh!
my expectations are low while i'm being wildly entertained...

2009-03-13T14:20:00.004-04:00

up to my neck in scholarship apps
my dishwasher has collapsed
it's so tremendously cold & wet
i can't stay focused today -
too much creative thinking
leaves my practical life practically stranded

abandoned love lost no more
my patron saint didn't go away
he's here - willed, wild, & fierce
carrying me thru this day
sanity amongst the chaos
this is a gift - i do know this

2009-03-11T10:53:00.003-04:00

hazy spring daze
grateful for jay's birthday bud
fragrant & moist
sparklin' crystals of yumminess
self-medicating is so sweet
pills, doob, & a little wine
i feel fine
i luv warm weather
my lounge lizard life
returns...

2009-03-10T11:18:00.006-04:00

my emancipation don't fit your equation -
nor will it ever be something i am aiming for
have my eyes set on my own
target - zeroed in
on the core base
of breath, width, & depth of
my own character development
i start with my mind & let
the judgments peel away -
criticisms of u, me, him, she
i want to break the spell of the mind
do my own voodoo groove (finally)
she WILL work for me & not the way around -
an untrained mind is more dangerous than u can
IMAGINE
take in -
sensory experience is
life's little secret
the mouth that i talk with
the eyes that i see with
the ears that i hear with
are portals which allow inner strength
to connect with the
outside world head-on
intake intake intake
observe -internally digesting the
organic rhythmic qualities of life
untying my tether to the posting of labels
i don't give a fuck what u call it!
it's in plain sight - that's all there needs to BE
my body can relax in this chair &
choose not to sit within delusional anxiety
it's a mind fuck is all -
a disastrous concoction set upon us to
destroy inner peace &
high-quality existence
this is the TRUE light of the mind
ancient wisdom
the stuff of jedi force
thoughts, emotions, ME
me, not it
not them...

2009-03-09T09:02:00.005-04:00

je suis une provocateur extraordinare
i am a vocal libertine
i fly in the face of convention
my duplicitous antics have no concern
who savors or trashes my party favors
a dubious reaction from u to me
only sets this flame higher
cos then it's up to the gods to decide
we bring the ingredients, yet
they know how to prepare the dish for our local tastes
as puck retells, if these do shadows offend
'tis but a dream(a waking one at that), but
malleable & bendable
possibly friendly - with grasped hands, despite
the finality,
of our cries, les jeux sont faits!
oh yes, we can restore amends or else the puck a liar call

2009-03-07T11:50:00.008-05:00

(madness takes its toll -
please have exact change)
i am a fucking neurotic
i adore the intense & the erotic
i am for free love -
is this is a crime? (only in MY fucking head)
i should of been born a jew
absolutely cuckoo
i luv being me despite the distress i create unbeknownst to anyone, but myself (it
doesn't feel right, it needs to better)
woody allen may be more fucked up then me, but not by much!
it doesn't matter what i do - not for all my little words
not for all the tea in china, not for all of NC
not if i could write 4 u the sweetest song u ever heard
i'd still be obsessing over a rewrite...i don't want to get over it.
ha.
my heart runs around like a chicken with its head cut off
poor thing is blind as a bat, falling down, getting up
who'd fall in love with a chicken with its head cut off?

2009-03-05T11:23:00.000-05:00

u can go out, dancing
and i'll write about you, dancing without you
and i'll shed a tear between my legs

when you were here, i missed you
now that you're away, i'm out there without you
and i shed a tear between my legs

though we live in the same city,
u live in another state far away from me and
all of my unfaded charms

but when the rocket ships all fall
and the bridges, they all buckle
and everybody's packing up their station wagons
there's a number you can call,
like a breast that you can suckle
and we quietly will exit as it all is happening

again, i'm afraid of one thing
will I walk away from love knowing nothing,
wearing my heart between my legs?
but when I know you're naked,
lying on the bed while i'm at the piano
all i can say is i can't fake it

'cause there's a river running underground
underneath the town towards the sea
that only i know all about
on which from this city we can flee

2009-03-04T10:59:00.006-05:00

my betise (hidden within the lines of TR)

i had granted him a small niche, certainly an important niche, one from which i gained something & 4 which i did something, but not a place in my life.

but y should i have given him a place in my life? i reacted indignantly against my own bad conscience at the thought that i had reduced him to a niche.

at first, i wanted to say that i wasn't able to chase something away. but it wasn't true. u can chase someone away by setting them in a niche.

2009-03-03T10:35:00.005-05:00

excerpt from the preface to the new translation of night by elie wiesel

convinced that this period in history would be judged one day, i knew that i must bear witness. i also knew that, while i had many things to say, i did not have the words to say them. painfully aware of my limitations, i watched helplessly as language became an obstacle. it became clear that it would be necessary to invent a new language. but how was one to rehabilitate and transform words betrayed & perverted by the enemy? hunger-thirst-fear-transport-selection-fire-chimney: these words all have intrinsic meaning, but in those times, they meant something else. writing in my mother tongue (yiddish) - at that point close to extinction - i would pause at every sentence, & start over & over again. i would conjure up verbs, other images, other silent cries. it was still not right. but what exactly was "it"? "it" was something elusive, darkly shrouded for fear of being usurped, profaned. all the dictionary had to offer seemed meager, pale, lifeless. was there a way to describe the last journey in sealed cattle cars, the last voyage toward the unknown? or the discovery of a demented & glacial universe where to be in-human was human, where disciplined, educated men in uniform came to kill, & innocent children & weary old men came to die? or the countless separations on a single fiery night, the tearing apart of families, entire communities? or incredibly, the vanishing of a beautiful, well-behaved little jewish girl with golden hair & a sad smile, murdered with her mother the very night of her arrival? how was one to speak of them without trembling & a heart broken for all eternity?
deep down, the witness knew then, as he does now, that his testimony would not be received. after all, it deals with an event that sprang from the darkest zone of man. only those who experienced auschwitz know what it was. others will never know.

but would they understand?
could men & women who consider it normal to assist the weak, to heal the sick, to protect small children, & to respect the wisdom of their elders understand what happened there? would they be able to comprehend how, within that cursed universe, the masters tortured the weak & massacred the children, the sick, the old?

and yet, having lived through this experience, one could not keep silent no matter how difficult, if not impossible, it was to speak.

2009-03-01T19:00:00.002-05:00

if
the snow would stick
all my design plans
would fall into place
& i wouldn't have to wait
until march 12 to feel
excited again
i love home & hearth
i want no part of the grind
time spent here rejuvenating
re-cooping where all is clean
& happy & i don't have to
talk to u

2009-02-27T09:37:00.004-05:00

integrity is the watchword
the founding poppas held it -
wanting to make a difference
tobacco co.'s taken to task
'cos they did not contain it
laws passed in honor of healthy choice
this wall tumbled down
now, the economy, now ourselves...

voices cry out for examination of fairness
ordinary matters, like trees are in a pruning stage
cutting down to the core can get ugly
what about growth? following
nature's way reveals potentiality

the principle of integrity will grow
our financial system & ourselves back to life
we are cutting back for growth
watch & wait in amazement

no, the `ol boys club will not approve, so what?

a system born under personal choice w/o penalty is
sound and a good one - it's our key to
freedom
planting seeds in a soil that was designed to allow
potentiality is acting according to integrity
we're doing what our country was made to do

as americans, we should stand reverent in this role
as changelings, individually & collectively
the seeds we plant do have the ability to spread
i believe this, it's FINALLY time!!!

2009-02-26T15:21:00.003-05:00

from the reader

disavowal is an unusual form of betrayal
from the outside it is impossible to tell if u r disowning someone or
simply exercising discretion, being considerate, avoiding embarrassments &
sources of irritation. But u, who r doing the disowning, u know what
u r doing. and disavowal pulls the underpinnings away from a
relationship just as surely as other more flamboyant types of betrayal

2009-02-26T09:12:00.003-05:00

serendipity

i go in looking for my favorite body cream & i find
u
standing in the aisle, waiting for me to arrive
on neutral territory in front of the baby food
i
look over & there it is
us
our first encounter since the disaster
i
don't cry or feel numb
i ask if u need a basket...

2009-02-25T09:10:00.005-05:00

my prescription for fun (what the doc ordered)

enjoy a good bottle of wine
(wine is just a game for grown-ups, not letting the fuss fool me)
create casual good conversation
imagine mysterious scenarios happening for complete strangers
respect everyone's journey
observe that being attractive does have its privileges
live like today is tomorrow, you know like being in Australia or something!
continue to make merry and experiment (always, always)

2009-02-24T09:02:00.005-05:00

the glamorous stalking of a prey, to attempt to posses & control someone for just
awhile and then letting go of this dominance to allow
the power swing back & forth to each partner is my kind of entertainment
To be led on leash is fun for awhile, but it
definitely is not a lifestyle choice for ANYONE solid in their own skin

these kind of games cycle on themselves as if in a dance.
if the dynamic is static no growth can occur -
equality is not on the menu. maybe it can still be made though.
anything is possible, but most important is to see and experience the world as
a woman complete unto herself - not as anyone's muse, wife, lover, or mother, but just as

herself

(withdrawn into ur own body; it's own quiet rhythms, unbothered by any input from the mind, oblivious to the outside world....)

possession of a lover - why do we need to posses something we love?

loving yourself comes first before ego games

2009-02-23T14:13:00.004-05:00

bahnhofstrasse

u appear as i am puking my guts out in the dark alleyway
wrapping yr arms around me ignited something in u
for the first time your heart wasn't hardly closed, she
opened and there was nothing to say...

so i talk to myself instead of you - incessant and constant

(i hide in hotel bathrooms and divulge secrets to the mirror)

2009-02-20T10:37:00.009-05:00

once i wanted to be the greatest then came the rush of the flood melt me down into big

black armor just like Jericho i said let these walls coming tumblin' down i need yr

confidence baby anyone will tell you how hard it is to make and keep a friend when you

just can no longer pretend that ur gettin' what you need or ur giving out anything

for them to grow and feed on no subtle man came to my town beggin' for my hand

so much for runnin' when no one stays to wait who would take my word on anything these

days i've failed so many times saying i'm gonna change - lovekeeper

pls.let me out we're just orphans in a tide's wave's wake

(when i say fuck u i say it with luv)

2009-02-02T14:30:00.006-05:00

...it was a dreadful tyranny, an obsession in her to know all he knew...

2009-01-28T14:17:00.003-05:00

Should never have divulged my password
And I meant it, I think.

I loved the idea of you.

Tomorrow, maybe, I'll sell the ring.

He posted our sex tape online.

Heartbroken, until the bitch finally died.

It hurts even worse in French.

Inevitably, his obituary didn't mention me.

I thought we had more time.

Wonder-filled, and never a dull torment.

He is married. I am not.

She said she liked my penis.

We'll break up before this prints.

Everyone's crazy except you and me.

What once were two, are one.

2009-01-23T10:42:00.002-05:00

The King of Wands (LCL)

was it real?
it was like an abandonment.
a very brilliant little moon
the sky overhead was crystal, but
it shed hardly any light.
"I thought I'd done with it all. now I've begun again".
but you don't hate me do you?
for me it was good. it was good.
was it for you?
she answered truthfully for she had
not been conscious of much.
"if only there weren't so many people in the world."
shall I come again?
yes! yes!
she had connected him up again, when he had wanted
to be alone.
he knew the seclusion of the woods was illusory
he had taken the woman.
he knew by experience what it meant.
he thought with infinite tenderness of the woman
he would protect her with his heart for a little while.
he was alone, in a silence he loved.
to tell the truth, he was sorry for what had happened
(perhaps most for her sake).
he was not afraid of himself.
the woman!
if she could be there with him, and there were
nobody else in the world!
she, poor young thing, but a female
creature whom he had gone into and
whom he desired again.

2009-01-19T11:06:00.002-05:00

Potent, but not Passionate
I still believe she was my twin, but I lost the ring...

he's elusive, magical, creative, and psychic.
his energy is constantly cycling back into himself -
not so much avoiding as ignoring.
"look at me! talk to me! what are you feeling?"
(not much)
intuitively sharp yet completely disengaged from feeling.
his sharp senses lead you to your own truth -
still, he cannot be seduced (independent emotionally).
he's self-absorbed - whose inspired
creative process is his life and
whose treatment of others is of little interest to him.
he is a magician, his wand reaching for cosmic power, but
grounded on the earth.
mr. psychotherapist (non-countertranference).

2009-01-16T11:34:00.003-05:00

There's a sea secret in me; it's plain to see it is rising

Mad Girl's Love Song

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

2008-12-28T17:49:00.001-05:00

Stuff for house…

1) new chandelier for dining room
2) TV/media console
3) Braided fikus for living room w/ a tree pot
4) Photo collage (eight 4x6, 6x4)
5) Runner rug for upstairs hall
6) Fake tree for bedroom
7) hanging lamp for bedroom
8) Rug for evie’s room
9) Fun wall décor for evie’s room
10) Side table and lamp for guest room
11) Outdoor furniture for porch
12) Gardening mibook for ideas (research)
13) Additional lamp for computer desk area
14) Laptop computer

2008-12-11T12:01:00.002-05:00

Loving yourself takes guts!

I am doing my darnedest to stay strong and loving towards myself. This includes everything about me - E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!

my body type, my hair, my individual energetic presence not matching up to what I "wish" my physical presentation would be. That really is the hardest one for me to come to terms with.

I have always been annoyed that my spirit is contained in this large frame of a body. Everything about my physical body is large or in access...

big big!! boobs, bones, head, hair, tummy, waist, wrists, face....

roundness abounds!
I am round.

If I slack on exercising I get rolls of fat under my chin and my upper arms go plump.

Now all of this just makes me sick! sick I tell you!!!!

yet, the loving part of me has taken on this challenge to see if it's possible to really love myself through this.

I have started to exercise again, but I believe in the power of conscious creation.
If I start in disgust about where my body is right now, I won't achieve my desired result.

The only thing I can do to help myself to love my body is to love it right now!

N-O-W!

I have conditioned my thoughts to tell me that I am "fat, huge, and "ugly".

No more!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was given this body for a reason. It is perfect in its hugeness and it is right for me.

In fact, I have often read that many empaths choose a large frame as "safety" from the influx of thought forms that they receive. According to Doreen Virtue, putting on weight is a safety mechanism for "Incarnated angels"....

That's me!

I love myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-04T16:38:00.004-05:00

Gattaca.

Today I felt a bias - an unintentional cruel division of sorts, but still a painful shock to my system. I need to be reboot myself right now so what I am attempting to do is to reclaim my own self worth as a human being and not fall short with limited thinking. I don't believe in what seems to be "acceptable" to them so I just delete that experience from me and let it fly off into a thousand pieces and fall into the hands of my angels who love to remind me that I am good enough as is. I don't need ANYONE from the outside to validate my worthiness nor do I feel lessened by their ignorance. They are allowed to create whatever is it they want to create just as I also have that right. So I am claiming my space, making it legitimate, feeding its growth, and won't lose site of my own dream.

2008-11-20T09:24:00.010-05:00

Please, Please listen to me children. You are the ones who will rule the world!

The things I have gathered about Jim Morrison through reading various commentary on his short life are really only knowable in snippets that easily could be overlooked by the tragic events surrounded his untimely mysterious death 37 years ago. I feel particularly drawn to Jim's struggles as an empathetic human being during a time when the comfort of spiritual family was in its still in its infancy. I know he suffered greatly in his life due to the emptiness of early abandonment (parents and societal restraints). Throughout his life, Jim had a keen sense of the loneliness that can accompany one who seeks enlightenment beyond the status quo. In my opinion, Jim Morrison was a forerunner of the Indigo movement that sprung up in the latter part of the 20th century. Being that consciously aware and emotionally plugged in during his day was a rare occurrence. Although, his most influential period peaked simultaneously along with the late sixties-early seventies counterculture (when "things were beginning to stir"); somehow for a man who surely was living ahead of his time it just wasn't enough to contain his energy.

That is why I believe Jim was not able to hold on and live out his life to a ripe old age. It is as if destiny lined up squarely to only allow his self-destructive nature to pour forth way ahead (seen both in his public and private life) of his amazing innate ability to transmute and heal. Sadly, Jim's soul, which raged and burned brightly within, was not able to express itself positively in the age he found himself in possibly because of bad timing - having to live out his formative years in an age silently terrified of discussing mental health issues or wellness. Consequently, the events of Jim's life which continually surmounted to manifest into a mound of distress, unhealthy habits, and relationships was often sadly dismissed, ignored, or made to be just "Jim being Jim".

Pam, his "cosmic mate" fed off his fire to ignite her own - living vicariously through Jim's fearless nature which sadly just made matters worse and did nothing towards the betterment of his personal struggles. In his life, Jim's intensity couldn't successfully be matched anywhere. I tend to think maybe it could of been brought to some even balance through an official committed partnership with Patricia Kennealy. Sadly, I think her friendship came a little too late in his life for Jim to really escape the bad habits of the past. What else could assist Jim to cope through the daily struggles of the double-edged sword of stardom (rock god "Lizard King" status) except the venomous poison of alcoholic "bliss"? Drinking and being THAT inebriated most of the time seemed to numb the pain of his inner self-criticism that constantly plagued him; the belief that somehow he was underachieving as a creative force, not truly answering his calling to scale the mythic realms as a poet or cinematic visionary. Archetypes were welcome to come and play in Jim's imagination, but he just couldn't seem to contain them responsibly for them to have the correct effect on his potential healing for many reasons here stated.

Jim's life was driven by an intrinsic desire for creative expression. Ordinary life was sometimes an obstacle with Jim sometimes going days at a time not showering or changing his clothes. Like so many other cultural heroes, Jim could be definitely be categorized as a "tragic artist" - living solely within his personal visions with the need to constantly reproduce in tangible format what was deeply embedded in his almost uncanny ability to tap into a multi-dimensional vortex of sorts; penetrating deep down into Mother Earth and outward towards the limitless Father Sky. This swirling current of energy flowed through and past him at almost a constant 100mph speed making even his most quietest of moments not so calm as well. He was always pushing onward; following the clarion call of his angels and demons, playing with words and images to make the unknown known.

Jim was never far from his notepads and pens, constantly the scribe translating and writing his interpretations down in his now infamous largely printed cursive text. His keen intuitive perspective about humanity intrigues even the casual eye and ear, and can stun the pants off the "erudite" privy to the key phrases that unlock the doors to our earthly heritage. His magnetic personality attracts or repels, but is never ignored.

To be continued....

2008-11-11T12:24:00.002-05:00

Recompense

there is damage debris still smoking as I turn back and stare into black.
how did she ever cower and stand so tall?
A feeble effort at best, she had to fall because there was no grace, no knowledge, or loss prevention measure

I pivot to still point and shudder to realize the illuminate presence of an image billowing towards me. Effortlessly, I am blanketed down onto the welcoming ground, awakened to a new design, a new plan coming to life before my eyes. My heart reaches out to grab what's duly mine, and tightly I hold onto to myself for the first time.
A delicate reaching around of arms as tender as you've always told me I could be.

(A clearing of space, another chance to show my face, to give myself a new name)

The clouds part and I begin to see with a glorified visibility hidden within that I welcome outward to love the world as it's always loved me

(even when I didn't think I could clearly see because of all that I have created before)